Guys, things seems not so well between me and J. He seems reluctant to
take any decision but neither of us rushing for it at this moment. It just me I
guess, sometime I just don’t understand what he really want in his life. J is a
good guy no doubt on that but I can really feel he is not interested in me tho,
you can feel it if someone like you or otherwise. Sometime we even can feel the
spark when we with the love one, but it don’t seem that J feel the sparks on
me. Maybe I’m wrong and maybe I’m right, but giving the current circumstances I
made a decision not him because I know whenever I ask him to make a decision on
this, he’ll slowly avoid it.
I decided to take a break for my relationship. Most of you wonders
didn’t me and J already declared to each other? No, no guys, it’s been a year,
we yet to declare to each other. J is a kind of person who seems doesn’t like
to take responsibilities in his life or there could other reason, I don’t know.
I’m done with this guys, I’m tired! Tired in the sense of sacrificing, tired of
love a person who doesn’t love me, tired of hoping for something which is not
for me!
It’s been a year guys, only I’m the one who strain my brain, energy to
think what else I should do to make him happy but he seems doesn’t. All he can
do is making fun of me and yes it could take years and it’s better to take
years for understand each other and accept the love. It’s the other way round
in our case, I’m the only one who keeps trying to understand him but he can
just relax, go out and have fun with his friend. I mean, I don’t stop him from
doing all that and he got his personal life and need entertainment too but can’t
he at least spend 5 minutes a day to think about us? I don’t want to argue
about this with him anymore as it seems worthless to talk about this with
someone who doesn’t love me.
Since both of us yet to declare, it makes things easier for me to make the
decision and he seems normal, no argument no objection but he accept my
decision means he waited me to do it. Nice plan! No more reporting, no more
worrying, less text seems like good way to go. I want to take some time to
relax, for myself and it’s time for me to concentrate for my future too
especially in work. I saw a better option for my life is there, just in front
of me so I need to work hard to grab it and I’ll.
For now, my mind is so empty and peaceful without any worries for love
matter, the only thing I concern the most is my life (I’ll talk about this in
the next entry). So, it’s time for a break on relationship, love and it’s time
for me to move on all alone. I’m happy, no stress! See you guys soon and take
care.
Until then, so &
so
PP
