Tuesday, February 21, 2012

I'm not ready yet.....

Even though there are few, perhaps should I say 3 guys which trying their level best to make me understand their feelings towards me, I'm just not ready enough to accept their love at this moment. Is not that I can't feel their feelings but I just wanted to be free and take my own sweet time to think about the love.

Yes, indeed sometime I felt like wanted to have someone in my life again for love and live together but one should remember I must take the previous incident as a lesson in my life. It is not I don't want them but I just too scare to love again, a guy name call Halim, Jef, and Mie who always text me and keep me accompany. I really appreciate that and I'd told them clearly I'm not ready for this yet, still I do give them chances to proof their love, still I'm not giving them hope on me.

Trust, is not easy to gain! It just need time so much of time and it just so hard for me to gain that again on others. I just don't have the love feelings in my heart anymore, even I saw some guys I felt like nothing, just simply look at them. Is not fair for me to say I've been gone through so much in my life because there are some people like Halim don't get a chance to feel the love from his mother, which I felt so terrible.

Whatever it is, I'm not ready to stand up again. I wanted to sit down and get rest. I don't want to give hope to anyone on me, I don't want them to get hurt because of me. I always wanted the best for them and everyone. Seriously, I don't feel lonely at all because I'm quite occupied with my office work and my study. Moreover, Alif is still contacting me and keep in touch via ym so I didn't see any reason being lonely and I've no time to think about that. Whenever I felt lie wanted to have boyfriend I'll divert my thinking on others.