Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Happy Birthday Papa

Later at year 1936, 26 Dec a baby boy was born at China. He was grown up with his family in poor condition where no proper food to eat, no proper place to sleep yet he survived with his family. Working at a quarry at the age 10 and wearing a worn out shoes, escaped to Malaysia at the age of 12 with his family and amazingly survived at here even it was war time.

Later, married a Chinese woman and an Indian woman gifted with 6 kids all together. Living a happy life after with his family and today 26th of December 2012 was his 76 birthday, still healthy and living a happy with his wife, son’s and daughter’s.

Yes, he was my father, a lovable father ever in my life. A kind man, who loves his kids the most, never beat his kids ever no matter how big the trouble is. I can remember few incidents of mine and it’s a funny thing, really fine. Well, I was the youngest in my family so I’m a mama son but at the same time papa love me too.

When I was about 7 years old, primary school to be precise. I hate school especially mandarin that point of time, I just hate it plus with those Chinese kids owh god tell me about it! I was like an experiment object for them, like why my skins are not fair like them and I’m always wondering what kind stupid question is that! Anyway, so I hate school and you want to know what I’d to go to school? I’ll never do a single homework, imagine guys I felt like I’m acting in a kungfu movie whenever I writing mandarin words, so difficult! So what I’ll do is always hide the books in my father car and when almost reach the school I’ll be like *oh papa, I forgot my homework book at home* and he drive me all the way back home and search the book. I took the chance and tell my papa *papa, I couldn’t found the book and I don’t want to go to school* but the book is actually in his car! But he still forces me to attend the school haha but never bear me, just angry!

Until one day, he found out my book in his car when he send for car wash (damn you cleaner)! I was like shit, I’m going to die haha and start the day after he’ll ride me to school with motorbike and he even ask me : -

Papa      : haaa where you going to hide the book this time?

Me         : erkkkkk

But still I hide my book inside my bag and say my book is missing and it’s only up to standard 3 and after that I start to catch up with my study and till today never stop to learn and sometime my dad tell me : -

Papa      : Those days, I ask you study and you’ll be like making all kind of drama but now even I ask
   you to stop study and you’ll be giving me that evil look haha

Not only that, there’s one time he slap just to wake me up from the so call charm or some kind spirit in my body but only I know it’s all drama haha! Back in 2008 I guess, I joined a budha society where their prayer is entirely different from the ordinary type but definitely not AJARAN SESAT ok haha! So the prayer required me to attend on certain day on night and to attend classes at KL so papa didn’t like it and didn’t allow me to attend. I don’t know why the hell I’m being so stupid that time and acting like some sort of spirit in my body just to threaten him to allow me to attend the budha prayers and classes. *pap* the first slap ever from my papa, will never forget about that. Funny-funny things happen with my papa, I just simply love him even though he didn’t being fair to me sometime.

I love you papa
Happy 76th Birthday
Many More returns of the day
May God Bless You Always
May God Shine His blessing on you always

Until then, so & so


Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Merry Christmas :)

Merry Christmas to all my friends who celebrating it with families. May Jesus bless you always.

Until then, so & so


Monday, December 24, 2012

It's time for a break .....

Guys, things seems not so well between me and J. He seems reluctant to take any decision but neither of us rushing for it at this moment. It just me I guess, sometime I just don’t understand what he really want in his life. J is a good guy no doubt on that but I can really feel he is not interested in me tho, you can feel it if someone like you or otherwise. Sometime we even can feel the spark when we with the love one, but it don’t seem that J feel the sparks on me. Maybe I’m wrong and maybe I’m right, but giving the current circumstances I made a decision not him because I know whenever I ask him to make a decision on this, he’ll slowly avoid it.

I decided to take a break for my relationship. Most of you wonders didn’t me and J already declared to each other? No, no guys, it’s been a year, we yet to declare to each other. J is a kind of person who seems doesn’t like to take responsibilities in his life or there could other reason, I don’t know. I’m done with this guys, I’m tired! Tired in the sense of sacrificing, tired of love a person who doesn’t love me, tired of hoping for something which is not for me!

It’s been a year guys, only I’m the one who strain my brain, energy to think what else I should do to make him happy but he seems doesn’t. All he can do is making fun of me and yes it could take years and it’s better to take years for understand each other and accept the love. It’s the other way round in our case, I’m the only one who keeps trying to understand him but he can just relax, go out and have fun with his friend. I mean, I don’t stop him from doing all that and he got his personal life and need entertainment too but can’t he at least spend 5 minutes a day to think about us? I don’t want to argue about this with him anymore as it seems worthless to talk about this with someone who doesn’t love me.

Since both of us yet to declare, it makes things easier for me to make the decision and he seems normal, no argument no objection but he accept my decision means he waited me to do it. Nice plan! No more reporting, no more worrying, less text seems like good way to go. I want to take some time to relax, for myself and it’s time for me to concentrate for my future too especially in work. I saw a better option for my life is there, just in front of me so I need to work hard to grab it and I’ll.

For now, my mind is so empty and peaceful without any worries for love matter, the only thing I concern the most is my life (I’ll talk about this in the next entry). So, it’s time for a break on relationship, love and it’s time for me to move on all alone. I’m happy, no stress! See you guys soon and take care.

Until then, so & so


Thursday, December 20, 2012

It's never been easy...

When talk about love, it’s never been easy as we thought, well it’s that easy as for me. Some say love is fun, some say love is pain, some say love is miserable (most of the time) and some even ask what is love? Oh my god, I’m going to slap any bastard or bitches ask me this kind of question. God damn it, are you stupid or you want to make me look stupid! Haha, yeah I know I’m using some harsh or immoral words, well it’s boring dude keep posting like being emotional so I decided to try a new methods for all the upcoming entries, how about that?

Ok, let’s talk about love today. Yes, love is fun and you even feel like you’re in the heaven but let me tell you this, as much as you feel like heaven and the next second you can feel like hell. Trust me, it’s never been that easy moreover in PLU life haha, what can I tell you. But again, it’s undeniable there’s couple living with their love life forever and at the same, there is and there are people who never satisfied with their love, sort of looking for a better one. You stupid, that’s not looking for a better person but you looking for a better ……… (Fill the gap by yourself)!

Owh for god sake. If you already happy with the current one, what is wrong with you to go and look for someone else? You say you love him and cannot live without yet you go and looking for other, how is this work? Can someone explain to me please?  Love required sacrifices people, without doing anything you can’t just expect you boyfriend to be nice to you all the time. The kind of sacrifices that I’m talking is be patient, always text you lover, call your lover even though only you’re the one who always call him/her but don’t be stingy lah.

Haaa ni satu lagi (there you go, started to mencarut in BM welcome me!), kalau keluar pi shopping tu share2 lah bayar. Jangan dok harap orang tu jew bayar macam lunch you bayar lepas tu movie dier plak yang bayar itu kalau dier ada duit lah or korang ada duit kalau takder tu, haa dok diam2 dalam umah buat baby. Perngorbanan tu penting beb, jangan nak dok piker malam ni nak buat style aper erk. Luangkan masa dengan si dia, borak lah tentang korang tapi kan bende yang paling irritating adalah korang jangan lah asyik tanya si dia *by, you cinta I tak*! Sekali tu at least boleh accept lagi, ni tak dok tanya sepuluh kali…kalau aku lah kan, cement ar your face!

Ok, if you really love a person you must learn to endure all kind of pain, must be patient and trust. It’s very important and there are times where you’ll feel like breaking up the relationship because the other party didn’t pay much attention on you but you must always understand and think positively. The other party might busy with work or some other business but unless you’re really sure about that he/she hooking with someone else than with all pleasure you can decide to pour some acid on his/her face!

PS: Sorry for the carut mencarut in BM part but if most of you prefer in BM then I’ll change it to BM for future entries.

Until then, so & so


Wednesday, December 19, 2012

R.I.P - A tribute for my friend * Muhd Azrie *

Yesterday, it was his birthday. A young guy who have ambition in his life to have a better future, yet god love him more than anyone else who know him. Muhd Azrie, one of my Facebook friend who know each other for quite some time was leave the earth few month ago due to some his lung contaminated by fluid. Apparently, not much FB knows about this till yesterday the news was conveyed by one of his friend.

Azrie, age 20, cute, handsome, and a guy who always like to cheer up others. I didn’t meet him personally before but we do communicate through phone and social network. As I said, god loves him more than anyone else in this world. Soon after I know about this, I started to think when my turn is. Well, I don’t expect to die as what Azrie suffered but who knows and who are we to decide how to die.

Came to think about this, I then realized that there’s nothing can guarantee our life for tomorrow or the next second. I started to think how much time I do have to show my love to the people around me? All this while, I’m not sure about all of you but for me there’re people who I do hate them, who know them like TnGo, who I like the most and who I love the most. Did I spend enough time with them to know more them more? Or, did they spend enough time to know me more?

God send us to this world to make friends, not enemy! I was started to decide to not going to waste my time anymore hating people, what do I get by doing so? But sometime, most of the most we only say it but we still remain the same, keep hating people, being harsh with them, forget those people who love us the most.

After all this, I taught myself to appreciate my life, appreciate the people around me, and be happy with what I have now in my life. Without them, I’m no one today in this world!

For my friend Muhd Azrie, we always will love you and miss you the most. May your soul rest in peace with among the others in heaven.

Until then, so & so


Tuesday, December 18, 2012

Things has changed much

It’s been almost 1 month after the so call no sweet moment with me and J but it seems changed most especially in J himself.  It can be clearly seen in J, the way he talk to me, the way he text me and his behaviors really changed from what I’d seen in him before this.

As you guys know, there’s few month where me and J practiced distance relationship while I work at Pahang and he at KL. No doubt it’s enough to create problem between us I mean yeah people do always say distance relationship will not stand long. For me it is totally wrong, take me and J as example. We really made it for almost few months, as long as there’s trust we can sleep peacefully.

After that much things happen between us where J keep quiet for almost a month where he can not to answer my call nor reply my messages.  I thought that’s it, nothing can be done anymore and it’s the end of our relationship at that point of time but I still wait for me, I want him to make the move to tell me to back off if he really wanted to break this. I was almost lost my confidence over this and the feeling tortured my every day, I could no longer be patient anymore to hold on this.

So I called him to break this off, he answered and acknowledged the break of this relationship. I felt freedom at that point off time, a strange sound inside me ask me to enjoy my life. Go out and get a life rather than keep thinking about this, and I thought there’s nothing more between me and J anymore and it’s time to move on in my life. Alif, is the place where I learn to be happy, a person who make me laugh every day. Don’t get me wrong people, there’s nothing going on between us, not more a friend to be precise.

I could only able to thought this is how it should be, I should move on and be happy always. Even try to hide my feelings and pretended to be happy, J always in my mind, in my heart and he is at everywhere I see. Yet I denied the feelings and being ego but not J, he messaged a few days after. The message sounds like this:

J              : Hye dear, knp senyap jew?

PP           : Nothing, but ask that to yourself!

J              : What did I do?

PP           : Don’t ask me! What you want from me for god sake!

J              : Just you dear, nothing else but just you

PP           : *started to cry*

Believe me or not, the word he said *just you dear, nothing else but just you* I still can remember it clearly. I could feel his sincerity in that words and voice, so peaceful and calm as if like I’m combined with his soul. That’s it, he is the one! I decided immediately that he is one for me, hey come on this breakup thingies happens to me and J before but we still get back together. I don’t J’s motif for doing so like when I say let’s breakup with emotional and he’ll say ok. But the nest day, he still text me. I mean, I don’t know but don’t you guys feels something different in J? I could feel it, J is a total different person from all I've known this while, and he is completely different.

After so call drama, everything changes in him. He played an important role to save our relationship and it seems positive, a changes where I didn't see in J before. Ohm, he text me every morning and I can feel that we’re even more closer than before. J seems to be more protective of me, he don’t allow me to meet with anyone that I recently know, he control me in terms of financial well not much but at least I can see he is trying. I don’t know how many lovers willing to give money to their lover but J gave me money and of course I’ll give it back to him and I did haha, but doesn't that fascinating? The feelings is so different in me, I love him even more. J also started to angry at me sometime, like scold me when I done something wrong and yeah its fun haha. He even use *sayang* when texting which he never done it before, we go shopping, we go for movie. It’s going good for now and I’m trying everything to protect it.

I love you J…..

Until then, so & so

Monday, December 17, 2012

When your love one trust you :)

Hello everyone, doing well? Or still searching for soul mates? Trust me, there's no rush when it's comes to love. Let it happen by itself, no point rushing and break up in 2 days! The most important thing is be happy, remember guys, happiness is the only thing we cannot buy in our life. So just go out and enjoy life while we can and it doesn't mean I'm asking you to become slut, remain loyal and sincere with your love one. The type of enjoying I'm talking about it go out with your love one, spend time with him or her. The world is going to be end guys, so dying on someone arms that we love seems like good way to go haha!

Alright alright, let's dive into today title. Well, I'm not a love guru but I'm talking on my own original and genuine experience in love like others. have you guys realize there are some quotes which always tell us "Don't trust anyone in your life except yourself" but one must remember love is all about trusting each other and without trust it will always leads to breakup. As I said, it always contradict with one and another, it's confusing and I know haha. 

Sometime it depends on you guys on who to trust or otherwise. Come on, we all grown up and know well what's going on around us. You can't go around and ask for people opinion on this! There might a lot of different opinion will be given by other because as to them the person might not can be trusted but the same person might be different in his/behavior with you, so you're right person to decide.

For me, trust must be involved in love and it's the most important tools which required in a relationship. In my current relationship with J, I faced no problem when it comes to trust even there's some misunderstanding for his silent but it was well sorted out. J trust me in every way and out and so do I, he trust me. He trust in my love for him, he trust in my loyalty for him, he trust in my sincerity and he trust that I'm only for him. For now I'm happy with they way we're and expecting nothing much :)

So what you guys waiting for......chill till the next entry yar...!!!

until then, so & so