Monday, September 26, 2011

No more hostel life hahax..!

Halo guys, guess what. No more hostel life for me anymore hahax because I already rent a room for myself at KL which I can go whenever I want. It'll only be my room after this, thought will be there on every friday evening until sunday evening and will be back to pahang after that, as usual for working hahax.

Let's see some photo of the room!

~Before start to deco the room~

~The cabinet that I bought (all in box theme) hahax

~Hahax indeed need some little more work in this hahax but better than previous!

By the way, I didn't deco the room at all but Alif did it. Yes, he the one who did everything. I just help on little little things. He helped me so much on this, he even got scar during move the cabinet to a side which make me so sad look at him but he is so lovely. I owe him a big time indeed!

PS: Safar burst out when he know that Alif help me and spent that night sleeping with me. Hey guys come one, he is gentlemen ok because he not even touch me with his finger!

Wednesday, September 21, 2011

De-activation of FB

Yesterday, I officially deactivated my facebook due to Azmi's action which had made my heart so hurt. I just have no reason why am I so attached to him but since yesterday, everything ended!

I don't know how long the deactivation will be back to activate. It might be temporary or might be life long. It's all depends on the situation and my mood, if I feel comfortable without FB then I'll just live without it. I can, can live without.

I'm just wondering why he cannot be honest with me? If he just wanted sex, he could have just tell me instead of make me love at him. Nevermind, I'm going to live in my own world without anyone. I just feel good without anyone around me! Yes, I wanted a hand to hold me but I realize that I'm strong enough to rise again by myself without anyone. After this, everything will be on my own without looking for anyone...

Ps: I'm sorry for those who added my in FB, I really appreciate yours friendship with me :)
Pss: If you wanted to contact me by either my email of mobile, you can always request from here Just drop me an email and I'll consider about it :)

Tuesday, September 20, 2011

Crush again..!

Damn, yesterday I went to KFC with my friend to have our gossiping session hahax. As normal, me and my friend straight to the KFC counter that Azmi worked before. Well, I've been there so many time so I'd noticed the manager work there but my mind didn't came across to know more about him, yesterday after we bought some meals and I bring it up to the second floor as usual.

After I sat, my friend told me that :

Friend: Do you know that guy?

Me: Who?

Friend: The guy at the counter lah...

Me: There's a lot of guy at counter!

Friend: The one who served us just now.

Me: No, why?

Friend: He ask me whether are you working together with me and I said yes but before not now.

Me: I don't know who is he!

At first I just forget about it but after I go back home, all of sudden he came to my mind hahax. Well, I think I crushed on him and search for his profile in FB, guess what! I manage to found it. After so many people like me and at last I crush on someone hahax. Want to see his picture? Here you go!

Handsome right? But I think he already have someone tho since he wearing a ring and moreover who want to be single by having a good looking face like him right hahax. Therefore, crush will be remain as a crush on him :)

PS: Kindly email to to get the password and don't forget to support me by clicking the advertisement yeah :p

Sunday, September 18, 2011

All I wanted....?

All I wanted from him is just

Hold my hand whenever I feel down and don't let my hand go!

Hug me tightly with is warm arms and whisper to me *Don't worry
Patrick, everything will be alright. I'm here for you*

Play like a baby with me!

I just wanted to be his baby for entire of my life that always look after me

I know, a friend can do this all but I prefer a person who will be only mine to do this to me. Don't you guys think the words is more precious if it is spells by him? I believe it is!!!

Not to worry :)

Hey everyone, everything back to track after been through a complicate situation couple of days ago. For this time being, even I'm not going to get that close with Azmi but just make it slowly and slowly get away from him. It means SMS and call will be limited for him, if he massage the I'll reply and not going to reply him. It's hard to get rid of the feelings towards him but this is the right way at this time being to get away from him slowly. Sometime, I do badly miss him and I just don't get it why am I so attracted to him hahaha.

However, I'm dating with a guy name Amir. I'm such a bitch hahax. It doesn't mean that I'm so desperate even it looks like it but sometime I just feel so lonely. Talk about Amir, I can't talk too much because I just get to know him. He's a bit shotter than me, fair and talk a lot hahahaha. Well, I believe people who talk a lot will always honest and won't keep anything in their heart, we'll see about in future.

Wednesday, September 14, 2011

Is it worth...?

After the earlier incident between me and Azmi really hunting me almost everyday! I don't know how to describe, can I say I like him as well? Well, that was the answer I like him but is it worth? I get so confused with this don't know whether I'm on the right track or leading towards to a wrong part?

Until today, I'm not really sure whether he got girlfriend even he said it verbally and he did told me that over and over again! However, he like me as well that's what he told me but a couple of days ago he mentioned in massage that he just want to enjoy with me! Am I a toy for him to enjoy? After I argued on this and replied me "then what else you aspect me to say? Say I'm going to marry you?" Well, I didn't aspect him to marry me but can't he just use some nice words when you talking no matter who you talking to?

The moment he said that, it reminds and made me think that one day he'll going to marry his girlfriend in future so what's the point for me put hope on him? Is it really worth? I just wanted a person who will be mine only. I'm so tired this few days think on this and once again I touched my heart, feel the hear beat!

Saturday, September 10, 2011

Thought only 1 but hmmmm.....!

At first I though only one but then only I realize there's more than one! Hey guys, am I confusing you all? Ok, this entry will be a bit longer than usual because I'm going to talk about few peoples at here and let me do it in Bahasa instead but will add some English in the middle as well hahax.

Ok, jom kita dengar lagi citer benar. Sejak kebalakangan ini ada few perkara yang buat saya kecewa untuk bercinta lagi. Korang ingat lagi tak yang Safar hantar kad raya (Simple....yet make me happy) sebenarnya kad tu lambat sampai. Selepas dier hantar kad tu, dier dah dapat bf hanya saya jew yang dok verangan! Hello bukan salah saya k dan bukan salah dier jugak tapi salah mangkuk hayun posmen tu! Tapi lepas tau yang dier dah berpunyer saya berdiam jewlah, yalah takkan nak rampas deir dari kekasih dier kot. Saya tau perasaan seseorang apabila kekasih kita dirampas oleh orang lain. Tapi yang peliknya, masa takder orang suka 1 pun takkan ada, kalau ada 1 yang suka kat saya mesti ada lebih 1 yang suka kat saya ini yang saya stress ni.

Ceritanya macam ni, lepas tau hal sebenar kad raya ni Safar dah start meroyan nak suka kat saya balik. Tapi yang masalahnya dier sudah berpunyer so saya pun advice lah dier tapi dier boleh kata nak break ngan bf dier, mangkuk dier! Saya tau dier jujur dan setia suka kat saya tapi masalahnya cuba bayangkan perasaan bf dier biler safar cakap nak break ngan dier. Walaupun safar tak rasai kesakitan itu tapi saya tak perasaan sakit itu macam maner sebab saya tak rasai banyak kali, as I'd said before I tought myself to put feel others pain by putting myself in their shoes!

Tak cukup ngan masalah safar muncul plak seroang lagi yang bernama Kamal! Aduh, ni seorang lagi tapi at last dah settle secara baik ngan dier dan stay as friend. Yang ni dah ada gf saya ulang "GF" bukan bf hokey! Ni lagi dasyat kata suka kat saya tapi baru kenal berapa minggu jew kot, dari mula saya dah tau yang dier dah ada gf so limited kan tingkah laku dan cara percakapan yasaya kat dier tapi akhirnya dier declare jugak kat saya. Dier pun kena ceramah kat saya tapi dier ni at least tak cakap nak break ngan gf kalau tak saya dah lama break kepala dier ngan batu hahaha nasib baik dier tak cakap. Part yang paling best, dier siap bawak gf dier jumpa saya dan cakap lagi kat gf dier yang dier suka kat saya. Mula lah drama tapi saya jelaskan kat gf dier!

Saya: Akak, akak jangan risau saya ngan bf akak tu hanya kawan. Saya tau perasaan akak macam maner sebab saya pun manusia macam akak jugak....

Awek: Terima kasih dik, saya tak sangka adik dapat selamat perhubungan kita orang.

Saya: Xder masalah kak :)

Haaa macam ini lah perbualan masa jumpa gf mamat tu. Hahaha muka mamat masa tu pucat giler beb macam hantu pocong hahaha tapi ada aku kesah, orang cakap elok2 taknak dengar, ni haaa hambek kau...

Haaaa yang ini lagi dasyat siap ada agenda 18x lagi hokey, korang mampu? Haaa apa nak tau aper agenda 18x tu, tunggu lah cheq habaq slow2! Nama dier mi (nama shortcut asa nama manja), sama umur ngan saya 22 (tapi saya masih 21 sebab belum sampai bulan october lagi, verangan siot). Dier study kat UM dan satu kampung ngan saya plak tu, lah maner lagi kalau bukan KL kechik (kuala Lipis). Ni pun baru jew kenal few weeks ago. Tapi dier yang add saya dulu kat FB dulu lepas saya pun approve. Untuk pengetahuan korang, saya takkan approve orang sebarangan kecuali orang tu saya memang kenal sebab tu dalam fb saya ni pending friend list dekat 200 (kejam kan aku)! So lepas approve ni kita orang pun pm dalam tu jew mula2 memang takder apa lah just macam kawan biasa jew, masa tu dier kerja partime kat KFC. Lepas tu kita orang bercadang nak jumpa lah, so set lah date and time. Akhirnya tibalah masa untuk berjumpa, saya buat macam biasa jew takder apa2 pun cuma dier yang macam nerves sikit entah kenapa, mungkin saya terlaku comel kot hehehe.

Lepas jumpa kita orang borak2 sambil minum dan makan banana split, haaa korang banana split hahahaha takder makna tersirat k! Borak punyer borak sampai kul 12.30am pagi, aduh ok lah jom kita balik...masa ini lah yang berlakunya agenda 18x, masa kul 12.30am tu dah takder orang kat cafe tu hanya kita orang berdua jew, so kita orang jalan kaki sampai ker tempat parking kete dan saya salam lah ngan dier, tiba2 dier tarik tangan saya dan terus cium saya mulut ke mulut! WTF! Tersentak aku masa tu, nasib baik takder orang. Lepas dier cium saya xtau nak buat aper just say ok bye masuk dalam keta dam balik umah. Masa otw nak balik tu dier sms kata hati2 drive, nanti dah sampai umah sms dier.

So lepas sampai umah saya sms gitau dier saya dah sampai umah tapi yang buat saya kelirunya dier kata suka kat saya dan yang saya tak pasti adalah jap kata dier dah ada berpunyer, jap kata tak! Haiiiii nak kena dier ni, sampai sekarang saya tak pasti dier dah berpunyer ker atau masih single lagi. So untuk memastikan dier orang tidak tergila gila kat aku yang comel ni, saya pun cakap kat dier orang kita kawan jewlah so kamal accept the fact, Safar dah start meroyan tapi ada plak mi buat saya meroyang kat dier. Aduh, ni yang tak best ni.....

Tapi macam maner pun saya kena kawal diri saya dari stop meroyan sebab saya tak jelas lagi status mi ni, kalau single then I'll think about the future but if he already have someone than I should but the border line with him. Dier betul2 buat saya rindu kat dier, nak kata lust maybe but I realize that I started to falling for him which is not good sign, bleh saya keluar jumpa dier malam semalam (9/09/11 - nanti aku citakan apa yang berlaku) dan borak ngan dier sampai 12.30am lagi...hampeh!

Tuesday, September 6, 2011

The person who I always talk to....!

Actually most of my friends either in my blogs or outside around me thought that my blog is the only place for me to express my feelings. No, the answer is wrong!

There's someone who is really important in my life who always with me! His name is BoyBoy, cute right the name hehe :p He can't talk but merely can hear what I tell and share to him, he is the only place I can talk freely and he know most of my secrets that I'd never mentioned in this blog. He is really close to me, he'll sleep with me all the night thought.

You guys want to see who is BoyBoy? Let's follow me!

**He is my lovely and cute BoyBoy~!

After all he is only place show my feelings, sad, happy, smile, cry and ect ect! I love you so much boy boy :) No matter what happen he'll always be with me!

Sunday, September 4, 2011

Whenever I feel sad, happy and missing someone....!

Hey guys, I'm considering to make my future entry as a short entry instead of making a long one but in case I've something to talk more then yes for a long entry. Talking about today entry, not going to make long one but just a short one thought.

I'm not sure how about others but me, whenever I feel sad, happy or missing someone always put my hand on my chest and feel the heartbeat. And tell myself, don't worry Patrick everything will be alright, I always with you.

Yes, it won't make someone can hear but it make me calm and happy. At least I know I always be with me and this is how I make myself feel happy :)