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Saturday, October 22, 2011

How I wish...!


How I wish I could have someone in my life right now for me to lay my head on his shoulder and let go all my pain by crying out loud! No matter how strong I am in my life yet I'm still weak in most area which need to workout to repair it. I don't know what kind of waiting game is this but I know my waiting will be worth one day.

I'm tired of this game and sometime I'm not even know what am I doing! I'm just walking on a road which I don't know where it'll leads me to but I kept walking. Why there's no one to hold my hand and leads me the way? Is that so hard to give me love? Is really hard to me to decide about Alif since he didn't give me a right answer at this moment as he always tell me he's not ready yet for relationship.

I'm too tired of thinking about this, I deciding to walk alone for the rest of my life. I merely can't trust anyone anymore, all is just play with my feelings. I don't know where's the mistake but I 'd trying my level best to keep it up. I'm human as well who have the same feelings like others, why can't they understand me? That's right, as else we can aspect from human but is that really hard to be honest with me?

sometime I just sit and think why can't human live without sex? Is sex are that important in love? Yes, sex is important in love in one way to show the love between two but that can't the first one in our life. I'm nor saying that I'm perfect, I agree that I'm not perfect like other but I'm perfect in my own way. Whenever I saw a guy which is more better than me, I always tell myself "It's ok Patrick, he deserve a better one"!!! I'm not putting or letting myself down but I know where I'm standing at, I always force myself to remind where am I standing at.

No one in this world that will understand that all I wanted is just a hug, just a hug which will make me feel calm down. A ear to hear what's in my heart, a hand to hold my hand and leads me the way, a chest to lay my head, a arm for hug me to make me feel I'm safe in your arm. Is that that hard to give me the above request?

I don't know whether there's someone who born for me or not but I believe even if there's no one, I'll walk alone myself through out the my life journey, I've to prepare myself for it. I believe in god that one day he'll show me that person! Believe or not, whenever I saw a guy which I like I feel like want to approach him but I don't know, I feel like something is blocking me to do such. Anyway, I can walk alone and I designed for it to face all the pain in my life. I know is not easy but I can, I trust myself...!

5 comments:

slumber sempoi said...

dear bro...jgn jiwa kaco k..
yg penting jaga diri jgn tak terkawal k...kasih syg bukan mudah tuk dicari.....

slumber sempoi said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Prince Patrick said...

Slumber Sempoi: Come on, I'm a human as well like you. Thanks, I'll take care of myself and you take care too :)

Anonymous said...

Stay strong and live as happy go lucky.. Its just matter of time for the right's one to approach you =)

Prince Patrick said...

Anony: I'm strong enough to go through this but thanks for the boost :)