I prefer to kept it with myself....

It's not fair for me to stay I faced too much pain in my life while there are people who enduring more pain than what I endured before. I always endure it in my heart or else I'll post it in my blog, that is all I can do. It's not like there's no people that I can't share, yes, indeed there is and no doubt on that. But sometime it's not helpful, I don't know how to line up the words. Ok, put it in this way they hear what I say but there's no comfort even though they give some nice words. At the same time I do understand how they felt when someone expressing their feelings, like boring.

I blame no one at here but I wish to say thanks to all of you at least some of you read what I'm posting. Love life always back to square especially in PLU's life because there's nothing to bound for each other like marriage. So it's easy to brake anytime we want, right? Sometime I just don't know what I want in my life, it's not like this question didn't arise before but sometime I do have the doubt again and again in my heart. I can't be sure that I'm a perfect human but I can promise I'm ain't bad.

When I feel wanted to share what's in my heart, I can't find the right one to share. I always wish my parents were open but I don't want to hurt them either. The only solution, my heart, always talk to my heart, cure the pain with myself with no one. All I wish is only if I've someone just for me, always there for me, care for me, love me. Well, wish always remain as wish, that's what we call imagination which we can't bring it to reality.

No matter hoe many time I said I had enough with this love, no matter how many time I say don't want love anymore, I know one fine day I'll come with another posting which I fall for someone. Anyway, going to keep my face smile even it's fake while waiting for the time come. 

By saying this, I'm not going to chase the love. Let it come by itself either natural or whatever way it is, I'll just accept but I'm very careful when it comes to love. I'll never ever go for a person or accept a person who already have partner in their life, yes, I won't. Because I know how the pain would if you know your boyfriend have someone else in his life, I felt it before! I just don't care all of you wanted to say I'm desperate for love, go ahead, I know myself better more than anybody else.