How I wish...!

How I wish I could have someone in my life right now for me to lay my head on his shoulder and let go all my pain by crying out loud! No matter how strong I am in my life yet I'm still weak in most area which need to workout to repair it. I don't know what kind of waiting game is this but I know my waiting will be worth one day.

I'm tired of this game and sometime I'm not even know what am I doing! I'm just walking on a road which I don't know where it'll leads me to but I kept walking. Why there's no one to hold my hand and leads me the way? Is that so hard to give me love? Is really hard to me to decide about Alif since he didn't give me a right answer at this moment as he always tell me he's not ready yet for relationship.

I'm too tired of thinking about this, I deciding to walk alone for the rest of my life. I merely can't trust anyone anymore, all is just play with my feelings. I don't know where's the mistake but I 'd trying my level best to keep it up. I'm human as well who have the same feelings like others, why can't they understand me? That's right, as else we can aspect from human but is that really hard to be honest with me?

sometime I just sit and think why can't human live without sex? Is sex are that important in love? Yes, sex is important in love in one way to show the love between two but that can't the first one in our life. I'm nor saying that I'm perfect, I agree that I'm not perfect like other but I'm perfect in my own way. Whenever I saw a guy which is more better than me, I always tell myself "It's ok Patrick, he deserve a better one"!!! I'm not putting or letting myself down but I know where I'm standing at, I always force myself to remind where am I standing at.

No one in this world that will understand that all I wanted is just a hug, just a hug which will make me feel calm down. A ear to hear what's in my heart, a hand to hold my hand and leads me the way, a chest to lay my head, a arm for hug me to make me feel I'm safe in your arm. Is that that hard to give me the above request?

I don't know whether there's someone who born for me or not but I believe even if there's no one, I'll walk alone myself through out the my life journey, I've to prepare myself for it. I believe in god that one day he'll show me that person! Believe or not, whenever I saw a guy which I like I feel like want to approach him but I don't know, I feel like something is blocking me to do such. Anyway, I can walk alone and I designed for it to face all the pain in my life. I know is not easy but I can, I trust myself...!

My special birthday present...!

Hey everyone, hope you all doing well. My october month really started with rushing! Damn, I hate that. I was really busy with my room decoration with Alif, buying stuff for room. Rushing for class and ect.

The most rushing part was that I was rushing to my foster sister wedding at Sabah, it was a long story. Actually, I was planned with my friend to attend her wedding but ended up with he cannot make it, so I've to cancel to attend the wedding too. At last, I was get fired by my sister and her husband with AK 47 so apparently, I attended the wedding at last. Hahax which was really fun for me even it is a short trip but happy enough to see my sister get married. Was fly to Sabah on friday night 8pm MAS flight at KLIA and back to KL on saturday evening Air Asia flight 3.45pm which was delayed for almost more than 1 hours! GOD...!!! Hope Air asia really know how to update their notification, is like shit!

Ok, let get to the point. For my coming birthday which is on 17th October next week monday, I want to make a bit different this time. If there's anyone which is my beloved follower and my silent reader wanted to meet me, is my pleasure. I'm willing to meet you guys on:

Saturday : from 9am to 2pm, 8pm to 10pm.

Sunday : from 9am to 12pm

Those who wanted to meet, I've problem with it. I'll be really happy if there is any and your wishes is more than enough as present for my birthday :) Therefore, kindly drop an email to this add cheah_cw@hotmail.com to fix the date, time and place. Once everything is set, we'll take it from there, cheers guys :)

New lights....

Went to buy some lights for me room after class at kuchai lama area! Well, not much of choice but still happy with what I've bought. Let's have a look on it ....

Nice one right?

So, what you thinks of it? For me, is more than enough living for a peaceful nights thought but feel like something is missing. Finally I got the answer after think for some moment, there's no one share this scenery with me.

No more hostel life hahax..!

Halo guys, guess what. No more hostel life for me anymore hahax because I already rent a room for myself at KL which I can go whenever I want. It'll only be my room after this, thought will be there on every friday evening until sunday evening and will be back to pahang after that, as usual for working hahax.

Let's see some photo of the room!

~Before start to deco the room~

~The cabinet that I bought (all in box theme) hahax

~Hahax indeed need some little more work in this hahax but better than previous!

By the way, I didn't deco the room at all but Alif did it. Yes, he the one who did everything. I just help on little little things. He helped me so much on this, he even got scar during move the cabinet to a side which make me so sad look at him but he is so lovely. I owe him a big time indeed!

PS: Safar burst out when he know that Alif help me and spent that night sleeping with me. Hey guys come one, he is gentlemen ok because he not even touch me with his finger!

De-activation of FB

Yesterday, I officially deactivated my facebook due to Azmi's action which had made my heart so hurt. I just have no reason why am I so attached to him but since yesterday, everything ended!

I don't know how long the deactivation will be back to activate. It might be temporary or might be life long. It's all depends on the situation and my mood, if I feel comfortable without FB then I'll just live without it. I can, can live without.

I'm just wondering why he cannot be honest with me? If he just wanted sex, he could have just tell me instead of make me love at him. Nevermind, I'm going to live in my own world without anyone. I just feel good without anyone around me! Yes, I wanted a hand to hold me but I realize that I'm strong enough to rise again by myself without anyone. After this, everything will be on my own without looking for anyone...

Ps: I'm sorry for those who added my in FB, I really appreciate yours friendship with me :)
Pss: If you wanted to contact me by either my email of mobile, you can always request from here cheah_cw@hotmail.com. Just drop me an email and I'll consider about it :)

Crush again..!

Damn, yesterday I went to KFC with my friend to have our gossiping session hahax. As normal, me and my friend straight to the KFC counter that Azmi worked before. Well, I've been there so many time so I'd noticed the manager work there but my mind didn't came across to know more about him, yesterday after we bought some meals and I bring it up to the second floor as usual.

After I sat, my friend told me that :

Friend: Do you know that guy?

Me: Who?

Friend: The guy at the counter lah...

Me: There's a lot of guy at counter!

Friend: The one who served us just now.

Me: No, why?

Friend: He ask me whether are you working together with me and I said yes but before not now.

Me: I don't know who is he!

At first I just forget about it but after I go back home, all of sudden he came to my mind hahax. Well, I think I crushed on him and search for his profile in FB, guess what! I manage to found it. After so many people like me and at last I crush on someone hahax. Want to see his picture? Here you go!

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Handsome right? But I think he already have someone tho since he wearing a ring and moreover who want to be single by having a good looking face like him right hahax. Therefore, crush will be remain as a crush on him :)

PS: Kindly email to cheah_cw@hotmail.com to get the password and don't forget to support me by clicking the advertisement yeah :p

All I wanted....?

All I wanted from him is just

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Hold my hand whenever I feel down and don't let my hand go!

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Hug me tightly with is warm arms and whisper to me *Don't worry

Patrick, everything will be alright. I'm here for you*

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Play like a baby with me!

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I just wanted to be his baby for entire of my life that always look after me

I know, a friend can do this all but I prefer a person who will be only mine to do this to me. Don't you guys think the words is more precious if it is spells by him? I believe it is!!!